You are who you say you are.
Whoever you say you are, you’re right.
I have not always been a confident, outgoing and I guess an ‘extroverted’ leader.
I grew up very shy, a total follower and on the footy field I was praised as a player that ‘leads by example’, which really means, ‘doesn’t say much, but puts his body on the line for his team’. Which is still a nice compliment, but certainly highlighted my introversion.
I thought I was shy because I was told I had my mother’s genes. That was that. My older brother was a bit more like my dad, and I was like mum. I would forever be shy and shy is what I would be.
I wasn’t particularly happy about it, I wanted to be more confident and out there. But I didn’t realise it was a choice.
I am the person who often worries about what people think, the person that doesn’t speak up in class in fear of getting the answer wrong and the determined bugger that shows how to play brave through my actions.
I’m not going to be a leader of people and I’m not going to be a star athlete because I just don’t have those talents.
It was all genetic and predetermined, so I had better just get used to it.
What I have come to learn over time is that you determine who you are and you determine what you are capable of achieving, it is all a choice.
If you think that you’re not good enough or fit enough for CrossFit, then you aren’t.
If you think you’ll never be able to lose all of that weight, then you won’t.
If you believe that you’re just big because your family is big, then you’ll stay big.
If you think you’re not worthy of the love and connection you wish you had from your partner, then you aren’t going to get it.
If you think you’re not enough of a leader to effectively lead a team, you won’t be.
If you’re a redhead and you believe in the common belief that all redheads are hot heads, then you will live up to the myth and be a fiery redhead.
These are all fixed mindset beliefs.
People who think and behave this way tend to believe that their traits are predetermined. People who think and believe this way also tend to have more of a ‘oh poor me’ attitude when things don’t go their way or bad things happen.
‘Of course that happened to me, I’m a shy loser, this is what you get when you’re a shy loser.’
It is also easy to claim pity when you’ve identified yourself as untalented, deficient of weak. You’ve made yourself a pity magnet. You will certainly never achieve those things you want, but fuck it you may as well go down with as many ‘awws’ and ‘there there’s’ as possible.
You have the power to choose almost everything that happens in your life.
If you decide that adding to the huge obesity tally in your family is not for you, you don’t have to be fat.
If you decide that you may have quite a bit to learn to become proficient at CrossFit. But with time, consistent practice, patience and an openness to learning, you can become good at CrossFit. Then yes! You can become good at CrossFit!
If you decide that NO! I am just as worthy of love as anybody else, then you will sure as hell demand the love you deserve, get that love, and feel that worthiness.
If you don’t want to be another fiery redhead, then don’t!
Now just because you’ve decided to be otherwise, it wont guarantee 100% perfect success in your venture. But it will sure as hell get you an absolute tonne closer than where you are right now. Doing something always beats sitting in your arse and sulking.
And yes, of course this doesn’t mean we can all become the next Tiger Woods because we ‘choose’ to. But in defence of EVERY elite performer in their field, none of them got their on talent alone. None of them got their believing they were unworthy or weak. None of them got there without failing more than just about everyone else. None of them got their with a fixed mindset. None of them got their without a thirst to learn more and be better. None of them got their without overcoming obstacle after obstacle, problem after problem.
They got their because they chose to set high standards and have a go no matter the outcome.
I chose to put myself in front of people more often. I chose to start leading with both my voice and my actions. I chose to ignore negativity, naysayers and my own fears.
Was it comfortable?
Was it scary?
How certain was I of the outcome?
Not very. But again, doing something will always get you further ahead than doing absolutely nothing. You can’t go backwards from nothing. So you may as well try.
Was it worth it?
Changing my mindset and realising I am in control of who I am were some of the life best choices I have ever made.
Do yourself a favour… stop believing your entire life is predetermined and stop believing your traits and talents are fixed. Start believing you are capable of anything and start taking action on it. Today.
You are who you say you are. If you say you are a piece of shit, a piece of shit you are. Don’t expect to become a rainbow unicorn while you’re still shit talking yourself.